Why Don’t We Ask?

Paying attention to the energy or vibe or feel behind the words spoken…yours and others.

There is a group I recently joined in Las Cruces called The Association. Itโ€™s a group that is dedicated to supporting women entrepreneurs succeed. Iโ€™ve been to a few of their events and Iโ€™m excited to get to know more people in the group. 

๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ž๐ง๐ž๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ฏ๐ข๐›๐ž ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฉ ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐.

The picture I created is a depiction of the experience I had during marriage counseling years ago (at the complete opposite end of the spectrum ๐Ÿ‘ฟ.) Read more here.


The group posted that one of the top habits of a successful woman is to ask.

After reading that post I started thinking about why we don’t ask. 

Or why do we ask and our voices tremble.

Or why it does not even occur to us to ask. 

Or we ask and we are pissy about it.

There are reasons for everything above. Deeply hidden issues that we are unaware of that play out in our everyday life. Issues we canโ€™t talk about because a lot of our root issues are pre-verbal.  Times in the past where we asked for help and experienced so much pain weโ€™d rather stay โ€œbitsyโ€ (as my young nephew used to say) rather than ask for help. Or weโ€™ve made a contract of sorts with ourselves, โ€œI will never ask for help againโ€ so it doesnโ€™t even cross our minds to ask.

๐‹๐ž๐š๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฐ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ž๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ฆ๐ž๐ง๐ญ.

This can leave us with chronic pain symptoms, projecting our issues onto others, or acting passive aggressive (or aggressive.)  All because of trauma that is hidden within that we are unaware of!

Something that felt so traumatizing at the time weโ€™ve blocked it out. Itโ€™s hidden AND it is still affecting us today. 

Some of us have a limiting belief that asking is a weakness. A lot of us have been taught (and we believe) that we should be able to do it all. Leaving us acting in a way that we do not want to act.

โœจ When we clear out old pain, emotions, and/or limiting beliefs, our confidence and energy increases. We feel more relaxed and at peace. Physical symptoms often improve because the energy is not going to suppress the old pain.

๐๐ซ๐ž๐งรฉ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ง
She recently wrote on a Facebook post…My mantra in those tough moments: โ€œChoose discomfort over resentment.โ€ Iโ€™d rather ten minutes of discomfort than the quiet, soul-sucking fury that comes with an uninspired, dishonest, โ€œ๐’๐ฎ๐ซ๐ž. ๐๐จ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ . . . ๐š๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ž.โ€

โญFor some people, itโ€™s not 10 minutes of discomfort. Itโ€™s anxiety or depression that keeps rearing up over and over again.

In that case we canโ€™t journal the pain away, talk it through, or clear the mind. The issues are held within the body and we NEED to process the old pain accordingly at the subtle level. 

๐Ÿ’› Clearing at the energetic level or subtle level takes little time and effort compared to years of therapy or living in pain with physical symptoms.

Share This Post