Why Don’t We Ask?

Paying attention to the energy or vibe or feel behind the words spoken…yours and others.

There is a group I recently joined in Las Cruces called The Association. It’s a group that is dedicated to supporting women entrepreneurs succeed. I’ve been to a few of their events and I’m excited to get to know more people in the group. 

💃 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐯𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝.

The picture I created is a depiction of the experience I had during marriage counseling years ago (at the complete opposite end of the spectrum 👿.) Read more here.

𝐀𝐒𝐊

The group posted that one of the top habits of a successful woman is to ask.

After reading that post I started thinking about why we don’t ask. 

Or why do we ask and our voices tremble.

Or why it does not even occur to us to ask. 

Or we ask and we are pissy about it.

There are reasons for everything above. Deeply hidden issues that we are unaware of that play out in our everyday life. Issues we can’t talk about because a lot of our root issues are pre-verbal.  Times in the past where we asked for help and experienced so much pain we’d rather stay “bitsy” (as my young nephew used to say) rather than ask for help. Or we’ve made a contract of sorts with ourselves, “I will never ask for help again” so it doesn’t even cross our minds to ask.

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

This can leave us with chronic pain symptoms, projecting our issues onto others, or acting passive aggressive (or aggressive.)  All because of trauma that is hidden within that we are unaware of!

Something that felt so traumatizing at the time we’ve blocked it out. It’s hidden AND it is still affecting us today. 

Some of us have a limiting belief that asking is a weakness. A lot of us have been taught (and we believe) that we should be able to do it all. Leaving us acting in a way that we do not want to act.

✨ When we clear out old pain, emotions, and/or limiting beliefs, our confidence and energy increases. We feel more relaxed and at peace. Physical symptoms often improve because the energy is not going to suppress the old pain.

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐧é 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧
She recently wrote on a Facebook post…My mantra in those tough moments: “Choose discomfort over resentment.” I’d rather ten minutes of discomfort than the quiet, soul-sucking fury that comes with an uninspired, dishonest, “𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐞. 𝐍𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦 . . . 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.”

⭐For some people, it’s not 10 minutes of discomfort. It’s anxiety or depression that keeps rearing up over and over again.

In that case we can’t journal the pain away, talk it through, or clear the mind. The issues are held within the body and we NEED to process the old pain accordingly at the subtle level. 

💛 Clearing at the energetic level or subtle level takes little time and effort compared to years of therapy or living in pain with physical symptoms.